How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
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The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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