he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize