There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize