Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize