best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize