is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize