Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize