Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize