had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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