I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize