Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
the raccoons are back...
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