Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize