how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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