Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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