Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
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This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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