I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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