we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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