well I can't set my house on fire every night
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize