nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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