His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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