I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize