i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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