i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
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I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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