I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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