dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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