Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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