I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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