I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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