Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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