i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize