Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize