what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize