Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize