Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize