My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish i was in the wii world.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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