can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is that strawberry winking at me??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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