It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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