do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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