You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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