I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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