so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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