i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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