Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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