we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize