your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize