Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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