I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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