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Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
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Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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