so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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