I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize